You know, I should be happy. I'm in love..... for as much as that fucking gets me. What really gets me is where I rank in this house.... well when she's around anyway (when it's just me I'm essentially king.)
Alright, are you ready for this setup?
Rankings:
Her baby
Her cat
Her Dog
Me
My Dog
That is how the living creatures in this house rank in her heart. Ok, so I get the baby, maybe even the cat..... fuck I'm still pissed that the cat gets more love than me. Not that I'm so amazing I'm expecting to blow them out of the water. I wish I could. You know this is the problem of dating someone with a past, particularly when that past involves a kid. I just wish for one FUCKING second she would see me, and love me the way I want to love her. But that's not happening. So I'm resolved to wait until either she figures herself out or.... I don't fucking know what. For a woman who has had no reservations about jumping into bed with whatever hard body of the week she's found for the past 8 years of her life it's rather shocking that if she cares about me so much she hardly wants to touch me. She says that it's harder for her to touch those she cares about. So basically by chasing a love relationship with her I've removed the option of actually receiving love. Is that what you're telling me? I keep hoping I'm going to wake up and find that she's discovered that "Oh look, a sexy, young, intelligent man has fallen in love with me, let's consummate our relationship so he feels secure and doesn't do something stupid." But no, the concern for me only goes so deep. I mean I think I've already established that in the grand scheme of things I don't amount to much in the eyes of women. I'm a meal ticket, I'm the guy they fuck when they don't have anything better to do and they're really just using me. I'm not a man they love.... this much is clear. Thanks God for all your FUCKING love and compassion. I'm sure when I'm in an early grave you'll be patting yourself on the back, job well done. If God's goal is to demoralize me and grind through all my hopes and dreams he's doing an excellent job. Actually it's a stroke of utter genius to give me the woman I've wanted for 6 months and not let me enjoy all of her. It's like saying "Here is the Delorean you wanted, oh but it has no [insert vital part], so you can't drive it, but it sure looks good doesn't it?" Wouldn't that make you just fucking scream? Yeah me too. Oh well, I wouldn't be getting laid right now anyway.... working 7 days this week.... woooo paycheck. Oh and on that subject I am terminally strapped for cash right now and that's getting a little annoying. Staying alive is getting more expensive with someone else around. Oh and the baby woke me up this morning so I didn't get my little half nap before getting dressed that I am so partial to. Kid makes a good alarm clock though..... He's cute, I guess. If she's not going to stick around my bonding is going to end up being rather limited, just saying. Someone who can't touch me doesn't exactly inspire confidence that she's going to stick around.
Alright, are you ready for this setup?
Rankings:
Her baby
Her cat
Her Dog
Me
My Dog
That is how the living creatures in this house rank in her heart. Ok, so I get the baby, maybe even the cat..... fuck I'm still pissed that the cat gets more love than me. Not that I'm so amazing I'm expecting to blow them out of the water. I wish I could. You know this is the problem of dating someone with a past, particularly when that past involves a kid. I just wish for one FUCKING second she would see me, and love me the way I want to love her. But that's not happening. So I'm resolved to wait until either she figures herself out or.... I don't fucking know what. For a woman who has had no reservations about jumping into bed with whatever hard body of the week she's found for the past 8 years of her life it's rather shocking that if she cares about me so much she hardly wants to touch me. She says that it's harder for her to touch those she cares about. So basically by chasing a love relationship with her I've removed the option of actually receiving love. Is that what you're telling me? I keep hoping I'm going to wake up and find that she's discovered that "Oh look, a sexy, young, intelligent man has fallen in love with me, let's consummate our relationship so he feels secure and doesn't do something stupid." But no, the concern for me only goes so deep. I mean I think I've already established that in the grand scheme of things I don't amount to much in the eyes of women. I'm a meal ticket, I'm the guy they fuck when they don't have anything better to do and they're really just using me. I'm not a man they love.... this much is clear. Thanks God for all your FUCKING love and compassion. I'm sure when I'm in an early grave you'll be patting yourself on the back, job well done. If God's goal is to demoralize me and grind through all my hopes and dreams he's doing an excellent job. Actually it's a stroke of utter genius to give me the woman I've wanted for 6 months and not let me enjoy all of her. It's like saying "Here is the Delorean you wanted, oh but it has no [insert vital part], so you can't drive it, but it sure looks good doesn't it?" Wouldn't that make you just fucking scream? Yeah me too. Oh well, I wouldn't be getting laid right now anyway.... working 7 days this week.... woooo paycheck. Oh and on that subject I am terminally strapped for cash right now and that's getting a little annoying. Staying alive is getting more expensive with someone else around. Oh and the baby woke me up this morning so I didn't get my little half nap before getting dressed that I am so partial to. Kid makes a good alarm clock though..... He's cute, I guess. If she's not going to stick around my bonding is going to end up being rather limited, just saying. Someone who can't touch me doesn't exactly inspire confidence that she's going to stick around.
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