Frustrated prayer

I don't know whether to call this a rant, or a prayer, or my head just blowing off. It's just so frustrating knowing that there is a God who loves me, who is in fact active in my life. It's frustrating because I'm butting my head against the same problems that I just can't solve. I bring them to God, and then I try to shift as best I can to either live with it, or fix what I can.
The problem comes down to freedom. For 5 years since I identified the problem I have been bringing this item up in prayer. Assuming three times a week, which averages the times I asked 5 times a day and the times I asked once a week, 807 times I have mentioned it to the Lord that: Hey, you say you break shackles, I've got this problem, etc.
It just seems like I'm going to continue to be under the gun. I've still got the same masters... one way or another. What bothers me more is that there are solutions, it's all about force to a direct spot.
See it's a financial problem, the problem being that living appears to cost quite a penny, and I don't want to have to sell my body for money for the rest of my life. I only can push so much, and my body can only do so much. I am further limited by age and health considerations. If I had understood the problem, and had access to the solutions I now do 8 years ago we'd be in a different boat now. Of course if I understood economics and such at 19 there are a number of different roads I could have traveled down.

So here I am, waiting on God for an answer that I don't know how could possibly scratch the itch. It's not that he's not capable. It isn't even that I don't know a solution or two. Compound interest and good assets could solve all of this. I'm further sure that he has access to even greater instruments. I am however unsure of what he intends to do. See because even though he says he hates imprisonment... slavery... blah blah blah set the captives free.... seek and you shall find and such, I've been praying at this for 5 years, and further I'm prepared to wait into eternity for him to come up with an answer. Because the great news is someday I will die. Today we found out processed meat is a cancer risk, meaning us working class schmoes get to clock out for good early. Bring on the hot dogs, because the chances of me getting gut cancer are higher than the chances of me finding a compassionate situation, or a natural solution to the resource shortage problem I've been having. 

the hateful process of buying a laptop

I came into this with such hopes. I had found a few laptops in my price range and thought that it would be a snap that one of them would work for me. It should be noted that I won't have ALL the money until possibly the end of the month... but that's alright.
Here are my needs (and why):
Intel i7, preferably 4 core (I bought an amd..... it's been a nightmare from the laptop side. I thought it was an i5 equal, and either i5s aren't doing what they used to, or... yeah, not.)
Minimum 8 gigs of ram and must be upgradable to 16 gigs. (running on 8 now... not going well)
Linux compatible (windows sucks, it takes way too much work to get the hardware to do what it was built to do. It's also heavy, it's a resource hog that acts like you don't need programs, you've got windows. It's hard to configure, you can never get down to the command line and work. Oh, and don't get me started on the file system. It's not as bad as mac, but not by much anymore.)
10 key, because number pad saves my bacon
and a dedicated graphics card
Sounds simple, yes?
No sir!
It will cost me roughly double my budget. I am seriously in the range of custom built machines wanting the specs I want.... My desktop with the most powerful processor ever made (8 core AMD) didn't cost this much. It just makes me hate the whole computer thing. Like I should just go buy a fucking game console and forget about my entire computer life for a few years. Maybe I should. It's not like this is going anywhere.

never over

I don't want to give the impression that the war is over in my life. I do still believe it may be over while I'm still breathing, but I can't make any promises. I'm not running the show here. It should be noted at this point I'm okay with that. I wouldn't have a better plan if I were to be running the show. In addition I don't think there is anyone or anything out there with a better plan for my life. God and I are having a more realistic discussion that I have had in awhile. That being said... it's hard. It's very hard having a frank discussion with the guy who could throw a net around you and scoop you into security. It complicates things knowing the guy is all powerful, and his assessment of what needs to change in me is what determines what happens next. If I'm still too flawed to perform whatever task he has ahead for me, back through the fire I go. Even now when the fire isn't high I'm still being molded. I have had to let go of my attachments, materialistic instincts I suppose I had. It must be in the human nature to drift towards materialism, because my instincts are more towards a value system based on time. Which is challenging, since every job I know promises money, not time.

I came to the conclusion that my ideal would be maximum hours to think and write. If I were really financially secure I could do that... Anyway, I'm kind of dry right now. On the road to a new computer, fingers still crossed about that, because it's not here until it's here.