Discussions on sex

So I ran into a wonderful little series on sex and christianity, I say wonderful of course to mean that I think it's all bunk but I'm glad for the discussion:
http://faithoncampus.com/overcoming-a-culture-of-instant-gratification/

So anyone who has ever read me is going to know what my problems are, but for those of you that haven't let me sum it up. I lived in that culture of "I don't have sexuality, I have GOD." And it's the most damn depressing thing since "I don't have political beliefs, the church tells me what I believe...." And just as evil, if not more so (wow, that hurts to say.) I did not sleep with a woman until I met my wife. And yes, we shared a bed before we were married. That made us sinners right off the bat, and I'm relatively sure that's one of the only reasons she married me. This is why I hate hate hate hate HATE this culture of denying sexuality, because of where it leads. Christians don't want to talk about the cost of chastity. They want to talk about the pretty parts. Which is really hard because chastity to a male is the equal of looking at his body, telling it that he hates it and wants it to feel agony, and hitting it repeatedly with a mallet until it stops. Once you start experiencing sexual pleasure stopping is really hard. And even if you manage to stop...... you start to get really messed up. What do I mean by that? Completely chaste men bother other men. We can just SMELL that something is wrong. Not literally, but it's just this aura of "I'm sick, broken, and dying, and I chose this path." This is one of the ways that the church breaks down our will and tests how much control they have over us. After all if they can get us to change our sex habits, then smoking, drinking and politics are easy. So I don't want to spend the rest of my day talking about how awful the results of chastity are. Having been chaste (or moreso than I am now), I can say I hated every minute of it, and I have quite a bit of respect for how much effect the words of those in spiritual authority over us can have. If I am ever in the spot of spiritual authority to speak to young people I doubt I would have the cruelty to talk about abstinence to those that have already had sex. You might as well tell them to chop off their right leg.

Now that's not to say abstinence isn't possible, shockingly enough it entirely is. If I wanted (and I don't) to stop having sex..... I'd just stop. It's the same as the process of stopping smoking. You take away the fuel, in this case women and porn (oh I'm not even touching what's wrong with the church's views on porn.) After the fuel is gone just sit back and enjoy the steady descent into madness. It's a detox. After a few horrifying months of that you are detoxed and ready to be another drone. (SARCASM) God is sooooo proud.
Let's talk (briefly) about why we search out pleasure. This for me all comes back to my semi hedonistic roots. In my personal belief structure, well for one I believe that once you have lost your virginity and innocence it's never coming back. Another thing is that being an excellent lover has great effects on your self esteem. All good things come from God and this includes tobacco, alcohol and sex (and probably some drugs). At some point I reached the point that I realized that the chances of me finding "The ONE" for me were diminishing. It has come down to the point that while I'm not closed off to the idea (quite the opposite), I don't expect it. I wouldn't place any bets on me ever getting married again, or having kids. But that doesn't mean my life is over, because I'm not tied and bound to a rule system that says if I am unloved on a deeper level I can't experience the joys of love. Because love is a gift, I can share it with women that I often barely know. Regardless of that it's me saying "I have hope, I find you attractive and I would really like it if you stayed around." They don't, of course, because God didn't build loving men in as a standard feature in women. Like compassion, it only comes on the deluxe models and he's not making as many of those recently (theorizing here).  In a world without marriage or goals it becomes the understood goal of a man to make the best of it. The best of it in the case of being a young man with no hope in the future is to embrace and understand this simple idea: Life and relationships are just a chain of experiences. You have to make the most of them, squeeze all the juice out of life and come back for seconds. Because one day the things you love, such as your relationships and loved ones, will die. And on that day all you will have is the memories of what you loved to sustain you. So make good memories. Good memories trump good decisions. Introduce me to a woman that I want enough to abstain for and I might consider it. But she would have to love me enough to make that pain worth it. And let me be frank.... aside from my mother I've never seen a woman love ANYONE enough to do that. Actually probably not even my mother.
Wrapping it up, I may someday believe that I should have had less sex... I mean that's possible. I would rather have worked out some of my early kinks now rather than meeting my future wife and thinking she had to be the answer to all of my sexuality. Let's face it, no woman can live up to that challenge. I would say the same about men but I have seen men do that in a capable way. Which sounds sexist. And it is, because I have seen men do much more and much more competently when it comes to sex and love than women. Women are good at many things, but as far as being everything a man needs....... yet to see it is all I can say.