In the beginning, God created perfect man.
Just center on that for a second
Perfect man, God in flesh, the only perfect replica
Immortal, disease free
LOW MANTAINENCE
God wanted one like him to share the wonder of creation with. To teach everything. Imagine how much you could achieve
Then man wanted other humans......first mistake
I want to remind you that it wasn't god's original plan to make companionship
but he made woman. To satisfy man's desire for companionship
And I propose that having that companionship was addictive in and of itself
lets continue
So man and woman are happy in the garden. But then satan comes along and tempts the woman
Now I know this is sexist, but here is my down low on satan going for the woman, I will remind you first that there is no other sin in the garden, no way to break down and rationalize much, unless you could appeal to emotional, and physical desires. So tempting the man would be a tougher job, at least as far as breaking down his reasoning and convincing him logically to eat the apple. So the snake knew that convincing emotionally was easier, and it would be easiest on a female who is not as logic based as man. Now they get kicked out of the garden. Suddenly, no longer immortal, those old drives kick back in and they start kicking out babies LIKE CRAZY. As much as is humanly possible to support alive. Not many diseases around to target the HUMAN nervious system, so man lived much longer. So lets say the original ratio was 5 to 1, meaning one adult supports five kids, and at least partially a spouse, more accurately from a labor standpoint it only works as 10 to 2. and it's usually much more for men, have to say, because mongamy hadn't been invented. Somewhere around abraham's time people figured out how to become independantly wealthy. Now I'm not talking about Gold, I'm talking about so wealthy they could swell their offspring into hundreds, probably thousands, simply by good investment policy (lets ignore war in this)
Now, fast waaaaay forward to modern era. Modern industry and business figures out how to profit from this arrangement, they reduce the working ratio down to 3 to one at best. that's 6 to 2 in our modern way of looking at things. Now they use those resources that men would normally put into more offspring into feeding industry, when slavery failed they realized that it would still be built on the back of people, but in a more stealthy way. By robbing each man of the ability to have more children, slowly but surely family size diminshed. Then somehow economic plague TOOK over, things like divorce, debt, foreclosure and other wealth damaging plague broke out, thanks to modern banking. Meaning that companionship, and consumption, bodily pleasure has sucked away our vital ability to provide. A single man can grow so much more wealthy than a man with a family, because he eats less, spends less, and earns more into the bargain. Furthermore a man who makes mistakes (marrying the wrong woman, ESPECIALLY HAVING KIDS WITH HER, and letting her know where he keeps the valuables.) will be completely an indentured servant to them for all his productive days.
This is my hypothosis, and no, I can never provide any proof
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Pride, my life and adventures with it, and how it changed my life
So, lots of things have happened, two actual relationships ending in one year is quite a thing, I've already capped all my relationship goals for the year so I'm just ready to spend the rest of it alone, unless other plans come along. Never rule out God, it's a rule.
The focus of this essay is intended to be the personal change I have experienced through the value of one word: pride. It has many names, with many different connotations. Examples include hubris, self confidence, vanity, narcissism, being self centered, and a host of others. Our culture (american western culture that is) has HUGE problems with this particular trait. I'm sure you can tell by how many of the words I listed have horrible negative connotations. My wife at least in some part left me because of my pride. It doesn't come without it's cost. Christians in particular hate it. I can't count the number of times I've heard someone in a christian recovery group say "I have issues with pride". And here is what kills me, everyone just nods and admires them for dealing with this problem they have. I hope to give you some idea of what is wrong with that point of view.
First to tell my story you need just a little background. I was born in the bible belt, raised christian by two very nurturing parents, and have never been one of the normal guys. So not fitting it in it should make sense that I didn't exactly exude self confidence in my early adult years. It's hard to be confident when your society makes it clear you don't belong. All that changed when my wife left. She had treated me so horribly, like so many women before and suddenly my brain just stood up and said "I've had enough, I don't deserve this." That was the foundation of pride forming. I started wearing clothes that accent my better features, reading more and working out to invest in myself.
The reasoning is simple: No one is going to stick around for me like me. There is no more certainty of investment return than investing in something that CANNOT be taken from you. That means unless you have a valuable possession grafted to your skin, your mind and body are the only truly long term investments you have. Now let's talk about the benefits for a minute. In the benefit column if you take pride in yourself, love yourself if you will, you'll almost always have what you want. It's so much easier to ask, easier to recieve and easier to take care of someone you love. A major boon in the emotional catagory (though also a stumbling block, you cannot ignore that factor) is that if you love yourself suddenly people who are emotionally bad for you are unappealing to the extreme. It makes decision making easier, both romantically and career wise. Just ask one simple question: "is this decision in my best interest?"
Now I want to talk about the obstacles that you will have put in your way. If you strive for anything really great then you're going to face some problems. In this case the problem is people. If you are a man then women will hate this about you, even though they will rarely say so. The reason is fairly straight forward, and that is the fact that women in this country are used to men falling all over themselves to try and impress them. Here is the truth: if you are doing your job right then they'll be more than impressed, if they are the right type of woman for you. Taking pride in your appearance, especially if you decide to stand out as I have will get you some major ribbing from your fellow human beings. Oh and if you are a christian few will ever believe you.
The focus of this essay is intended to be the personal change I have experienced through the value of one word: pride. It has many names, with many different connotations. Examples include hubris, self confidence, vanity, narcissism, being self centered, and a host of others. Our culture (american western culture that is) has HUGE problems with this particular trait. I'm sure you can tell by how many of the words I listed have horrible negative connotations. My wife at least in some part left me because of my pride. It doesn't come without it's cost. Christians in particular hate it. I can't count the number of times I've heard someone in a christian recovery group say "I have issues with pride". And here is what kills me, everyone just nods and admires them for dealing with this problem they have. I hope to give you some idea of what is wrong with that point of view.
First to tell my story you need just a little background. I was born in the bible belt, raised christian by two very nurturing parents, and have never been one of the normal guys. So not fitting it in it should make sense that I didn't exactly exude self confidence in my early adult years. It's hard to be confident when your society makes it clear you don't belong. All that changed when my wife left. She had treated me so horribly, like so many women before and suddenly my brain just stood up and said "I've had enough, I don't deserve this." That was the foundation of pride forming. I started wearing clothes that accent my better features, reading more and working out to invest in myself.
The reasoning is simple: No one is going to stick around for me like me. There is no more certainty of investment return than investing in something that CANNOT be taken from you. That means unless you have a valuable possession grafted to your skin, your mind and body are the only truly long term investments you have. Now let's talk about the benefits for a minute. In the benefit column if you take pride in yourself, love yourself if you will, you'll almost always have what you want. It's so much easier to ask, easier to recieve and easier to take care of someone you love. A major boon in the emotional catagory (though also a stumbling block, you cannot ignore that factor) is that if you love yourself suddenly people who are emotionally bad for you are unappealing to the extreme. It makes decision making easier, both romantically and career wise. Just ask one simple question: "is this decision in my best interest?"
Now I want to talk about the obstacles that you will have put in your way. If you strive for anything really great then you're going to face some problems. In this case the problem is people. If you are a man then women will hate this about you, even though they will rarely say so. The reason is fairly straight forward, and that is the fact that women in this country are used to men falling all over themselves to try and impress them. Here is the truth: if you are doing your job right then they'll be more than impressed, if they are the right type of woman for you. Taking pride in your appearance, especially if you decide to stand out as I have will get you some major ribbing from your fellow human beings. Oh and if you are a christian few will ever believe you.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Imagine if you will
I'm pretty disappointed in life right now. At least not currently ROMANTICALLY frustrated, but career wise I really am quite unhappy.
So I had a dream, a vision, that I lifted up to God, an entirely new lifestyle I was praying for, a career, a future, security, it had quite a bit of good things in it. I asked God that if that was his will for my life, would he please show me how to get there. Because you see it's not something I could do myself, at least not from this part of my life, it was something so crazy that a huge miracle would be the only way it could happen. So I prayed. And waited. Then one day last week I felt suddenly like maybe it was time to move on this again. So I learned all I could, planned out all the details, I was so READY for God to make a move. But then....... He..... Did..... Not.
So when I sensed that perhaps my intuition had failed to accurately predict what would happen, I offered up a follow up. IF God wanted me to move, then I'm ready, but if not could he not make my life so.... dissappointing. Again, I was ready for God to move, in ANY way. Things did not change.
So do you want to know the way things are going now? I can make a good life here. I know that, God has a very small part in that because at the moment I have run into a wall in my spiritual development. As long as I am trapped in this bubble, and God shows complete indifference to my requests (which I have to say is rather unbiblical, way to not line up with your own word there God), I can't move forward. At least not with him.
On my own for certain I can continue to push bounderies, reach new levels of success, and perhaps find ultimate happiness through the realization of my own abilities with this same level of sort of help from the world. I was looking to maybe be less self centered and self reliant. I had hoped that God would see that I don't think that is a healthy way to go. At least not to the extreme. But since he is the only one I respect enough (and honestly I wonder why) to completely surrender my will, this is the only way I know to learn to rely on him more. Growth requires two things: the medium which provides the energy to grow, and the area in which to grow. Kept in a small bowl a fish will remain the same size, but kept in a larger bowl, and provided with sufficient food to eat, it can grow as big as it wants. We might call this opportunity.
What I'm living in right now, is a lack of opportunity to grow and become a better follower of him. Really even to become a better person. I am stifled. This life I'm living is doing that. Now, lets pretend God is the fish owner, which he really is (you could also run a parent child analysis.) Now if you loved your fish, and that fish obviously would thrive more in a larger tank, and you had the resources to provide it (we assume that God has the resources, though that would be an interesting discussion of this flaw), why would you not provide the best environment for that fish to grow, and in fact provide barely enough to keep your fish alive? This concept is covered in the book of matthew chapter 7, I paraphrase: "If your son asked you for a loaf of bread, would you give him a snake or a rock? No. So if you being evil know how to give good gifts, how much better do you think God is at it?" again, I paraphrase. The point is obvious. God is supposed to be a good parent. So for whatever reason this painful situation is his idea of a good gift. If that is the case that alone is enough to convince me that he doesn't understand me in the slightest, or care for me. If he thinks being restrained from growth, being in pain is a way to provide for me. Well, it's disappointing. Suppose your dad was a very rich man. Lets also imagine that you need a new car. You go to your dad and say "Can I have a car dad? I've picked this one out, it will be the best possible car for my needs, and you'd never miss the money, wouldn't you be happier seeing me happy?" And your dad gets up, and walks out of the room. You leave him messages, try to relay messages through his voicemail, secretary. Over time it will become obvious that he has no intention of helping you. Now you are in the same position. You can go earn the money to buy a car. You'll probably end up buying a car that is in bad repair, and probably wont last very long because your resources are limited.
You may wonder, because I do, why your dad would behave this way. Doesn't he love you? doesn't he want you to have good things? The answer is that your dad is some sort of special exception to the normal guidelines that apply to parents. Your dad is always right. So you, by definition, must be wrong for wanting such a nice car. Why you greedy little brat, who do you think you are? Your dad doesn't have to do anything for you. You're lucky your dad does anything for you. You're lucky your dad keeps paying your health insurance so that when you get into a fatal car accident because your brakes lock up because you bought a substandard car, they MIGHT be able to save your worthless life.
This is why a man might be tempted to worship money, dedicate his life to earning enough money to no longer need his dad who does not care to have any input in his life. This is why people turn away from God. I haven't completely, but the temptation is there. Because I have no idea how to be happy about a future in which I keep following him, waiting for him to care. I don't feel comfortable pouring myself out to someone who I don't respect, and I don't respect someone who lies. Yes they aren't lies when the person telling them is the maker of all reality, I'm just interpreting it all wrong.
So now, based on this
So I had a dream, a vision, that I lifted up to God, an entirely new lifestyle I was praying for, a career, a future, security, it had quite a bit of good things in it. I asked God that if that was his will for my life, would he please show me how to get there. Because you see it's not something I could do myself, at least not from this part of my life, it was something so crazy that a huge miracle would be the only way it could happen. So I prayed. And waited. Then one day last week I felt suddenly like maybe it was time to move on this again. So I learned all I could, planned out all the details, I was so READY for God to make a move. But then....... He..... Did..... Not.
So when I sensed that perhaps my intuition had failed to accurately predict what would happen, I offered up a follow up. IF God wanted me to move, then I'm ready, but if not could he not make my life so.... dissappointing. Again, I was ready for God to move, in ANY way. Things did not change.
So do you want to know the way things are going now? I can make a good life here. I know that, God has a very small part in that because at the moment I have run into a wall in my spiritual development. As long as I am trapped in this bubble, and God shows complete indifference to my requests (which I have to say is rather unbiblical, way to not line up with your own word there God), I can't move forward. At least not with him.
On my own for certain I can continue to push bounderies, reach new levels of success, and perhaps find ultimate happiness through the realization of my own abilities with this same level of sort of help from the world. I was looking to maybe be less self centered and self reliant. I had hoped that God would see that I don't think that is a healthy way to go. At least not to the extreme. But since he is the only one I respect enough (and honestly I wonder why) to completely surrender my will, this is the only way I know to learn to rely on him more. Growth requires two things: the medium which provides the energy to grow, and the area in which to grow. Kept in a small bowl a fish will remain the same size, but kept in a larger bowl, and provided with sufficient food to eat, it can grow as big as it wants. We might call this opportunity.
What I'm living in right now, is a lack of opportunity to grow and become a better follower of him. Really even to become a better person. I am stifled. This life I'm living is doing that. Now, lets pretend God is the fish owner, which he really is (you could also run a parent child analysis.) Now if you loved your fish, and that fish obviously would thrive more in a larger tank, and you had the resources to provide it (we assume that God has the resources, though that would be an interesting discussion of this flaw), why would you not provide the best environment for that fish to grow, and in fact provide barely enough to keep your fish alive? This concept is covered in the book of matthew chapter 7, I paraphrase: "If your son asked you for a loaf of bread, would you give him a snake or a rock? No. So if you being evil know how to give good gifts, how much better do you think God is at it?" again, I paraphrase. The point is obvious. God is supposed to be a good parent. So for whatever reason this painful situation is his idea of a good gift. If that is the case that alone is enough to convince me that he doesn't understand me in the slightest, or care for me. If he thinks being restrained from growth, being in pain is a way to provide for me. Well, it's disappointing. Suppose your dad was a very rich man. Lets also imagine that you need a new car. You go to your dad and say "Can I have a car dad? I've picked this one out, it will be the best possible car for my needs, and you'd never miss the money, wouldn't you be happier seeing me happy?" And your dad gets up, and walks out of the room. You leave him messages, try to relay messages through his voicemail, secretary. Over time it will become obvious that he has no intention of helping you. Now you are in the same position. You can go earn the money to buy a car. You'll probably end up buying a car that is in bad repair, and probably wont last very long because your resources are limited.
You may wonder, because I do, why your dad would behave this way. Doesn't he love you? doesn't he want you to have good things? The answer is that your dad is some sort of special exception to the normal guidelines that apply to parents. Your dad is always right. So you, by definition, must be wrong for wanting such a nice car. Why you greedy little brat, who do you think you are? Your dad doesn't have to do anything for you. You're lucky your dad does anything for you. You're lucky your dad keeps paying your health insurance so that when you get into a fatal car accident because your brakes lock up because you bought a substandard car, they MIGHT be able to save your worthless life.
This is why a man might be tempted to worship money, dedicate his life to earning enough money to no longer need his dad who does not care to have any input in his life. This is why people turn away from God. I haven't completely, but the temptation is there. Because I have no idea how to be happy about a future in which I keep following him, waiting for him to care. I don't feel comfortable pouring myself out to someone who I don't respect, and I don't respect someone who lies. Yes they aren't lies when the person telling them is the maker of all reality, I'm just interpreting it all wrong.
So now, based on this
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