Thursday, February 9, 2012

waiting for 9

So I haven't heard from 8 all week, haven't been with her in 2 (physically anyway, saw her last Sunday). I think that it's fair to say I no longer think that it's going to work out in the long term. Too bad, so sad, it was great but  then she didn't exactly show a ton of passion for me (gee haven't we heard THAT story before). I really thought she might fall in love with me. But oh well.
Now is the time that we talk about what I expect for number 9 (for non regular readers you should know I refer to women I have had a physical relationship with by their numbers until they prove to be significant, and often times the number tells you more about how I feel than their actual names).
To reflect we should talk about what I have expected for previous numbers.
Number 5 was the most unexpected, and came after the longest drought in my sex life in my life. When I found her, and found out I would have her (oh there are signs, someday I'll do a post on THOSE), I wanted her to be the last. Sadly it was not to be. I don't think I was horribly disappointed. Of course at the time I thought I was going to be with someone I had already had relations with (the much heralded number 2), so that might have effected things.
Very shortly after I met number 6, and I don't remember having any expectations. I actually had a relationship which means I hoped at some point that it would last. But deep down I think I knew better. (said I love you after a week.....  told her everything..... blew up in my face. She was crazy, but then so was I at the time.)
So as I waited for number 7 I had hopes that it would be an important number for me. For one thing I had been through enough, waited long enough, all that good stuff. For another I believe in significant numbers. Which would be shocking considering how little number 3 mattered (think biblical numbers people). I met 7, had tremendous hopes, and they were effectively dashed. (7 incidentally is in a relationship now, also the oldest woman I have been with.)

 So I had no expectations for 8. Aside from being worth it I didn't have any requirements or expectations. Thus far she hasn't disappointed. Without a doubt worth it. Who knows. 8 keeps responding to my ads.... confused. by this.

Anyway in waiting for number 9 I'm not sure what to expect. I'd like to have some romance. But hey. That's ok.

A little post script: I don't know if I said so before but I really do care about these women for the most part. I'm aware that this number thing can seem cold hearted, it's not. Saying those numbers brings back memories. Memories of when they had names and I had hope for them. I also don't say names more often due to confidentiality. In the example of number 8 we are casual at the moment, her family and friends have no idea about me. I don't want to drag down her reputation. Believe me, when I say 8 in her case I'm still thinking her name.... She matters to me is the point I'm making. Actually more than she should, in that I really wish it would work out with her. I've spent weeks trying to put some distance between me and wanting to be with her, not entirely sure it's working. If it does, and she doesn't have any interest in me, then that will be the end of it. If it doesnt then I'll be stuck on her for awhile then move on, or we could be together (heart jumps). Shut up heart, geez you're too easy.

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