roughness and not knowing what to expect

So I'm really trying to set my expectations lower. That she's not going to sleep with me, or kiss me, or show very much affection at all. But that's a very frustrating proposition. Today I did pretty much EVERYTHING a man could to make his girl happy. Woke up, got a haircut. Brought her cough drops (which she didn't touch), Made her coffee (she didn't drink), got rid of the dog she had suggested I get rid of (yes other people wanted me to but SHE was the major push here), went shopping and talked about the future. Went grocery shopping. Got home, got high, watched a scary movie and came on as hard as I dared. Not a damn thing my friends. Not a damn thing. I mean, she laughed, she had a good day obviously. Maybe if at some future point something happens I might attribute some of that to today's work, BUT I doubt it. Due to her past it seems unlikely at this point that she'll ever actually love me. Though she claims otherwise of course..... mixed signals. She laughs at me, drifts closer to me, sometimes it bed it seems like she wants to be near me, but then nothing at all. NOTHING AT ALL. This is a sexless marriage. *pout* Yes, I am aware I'm throwing a little fit because I don't get what I want. She's never going to read this so what does it matter? She no doubt senses my frustration, anger, pain and doubt. She should be able to sense my love happiness and need for her too....... for all the good it does me. In two weeks one way or another I'm meeting my doctor again, if she's here she's coming with me. If he says she's no good for me, or that it won't happen it just plain won't happen. If he says we need work, I'll do the work. If he says we're good, then I guess all the problems are in my head. I say all the problems. The one problem, which is Max doesn't feel loved when he doesn't get touched, or told he is loved. Many of the obstacles have been removed, don't think I don't notice. So maybe things will continue on the upslide. God only knows. Again today I thanked him for blessing me and my family..... I was warmer towards Joben today (both because I care about him and because I care about his mother). From my perspective I did everything right. I actually have done a bit more than I should have the past week.... trying to win her love. I mean I'm glad she's not super needy for my love I suppose..... always a silver lining right? On the dark side my libido has major issues right now. It hasn't been active in over a week which is dead in my world. Every time it starts up she's just like "keep dreaming pal".
Speaking of, I had a dream about my ex. My ex wife showed up and tried to seduce me. I come to find out she just wants sex with me, that she's now in an open marriage...... I was horrified. That's as close to a nightmare as it gets around here.
And speaking of libido I'm going to try and delve around and see if I still have one...... it must be here somewhere. Updates will come as I learn.