Dream log pt 2

so after those horrible dreams I went back to sleep, which only proves how insane I am.... anyway once again I had dreams.
This time I had a dream that my wife came back and wanted to try and make it work. It was just so.... relieving I guess. Then in the middle of the dream I started wondering if this was what I wanted, and I decided it was. For whatever reason my brain can't understand that the house I already live in is the important location for most of my life, so instead it created another house somewhere in tulsa that my wife and I were going to move BACK into together.... and I was excited about that.
Cut to weird part 2 of this dream, somehow I get enough money to get whatever I want (in the dream it was about 160 dollars.) and I wanted to go buy these 60 dollar shoes from the department store, in my dream it was JC Penny's but I think I actually saw them at dillards. The important thing is these are the shoes I've wanted for some time. For whatever reason I had my mom come with me to pick them up. When we get there to pick them up I find out they are on sale for 40 dollars. So I'm like "great, this is what I want" but my mom keeps insisting that I shouldn't get them, that they are too expensive..... it's insane. We get in this huge fight about it in the middle of the store.
Then a girl shows up that apparently I had been interested in, or hit on at a club or something, and we start talking, I ask HER to check out the shoes. Which doesn't appear to lead to anything. But then I ask her to come hang out at the house later...... weird dream connector is apparently my wife is living there..... and even though we haven't remarried that might be wierd, but my brain can't lose face in front of a pretty girl so I just tell her to come over and "hang out", and if my wife is there she can make a new friend..... it would appear I have balls of steel. Then I run into a clerk with glasses..... who somehow resembled a friend of mine from high school, but his nametag says my name on it. So I tell him I better get a percentage since he used my name to get the job.
Weird subplot: Trying to get home from my parents house. First I take the car, my car, and for whatever reason get out and leave it there. Then I'm driving the truck.... and worrying about where the car is.

I don't get what any of this means....... obviously little of this could happen in real life.

the line

I made a decision once, and that decision was the biggest thing I've ever done. I should have known no matter what part of me had to die that day, I couldn't not betray myself.
The decision was whether or not to join the military
one one side, with the military, stood my wife and most steadfast companion
on the other, my parents and the morality I had grown up with
I could not betray myself, let the soft hearted me die in the military, because I still cared about me enough to make the decision best for me, at least in the short term. I always protect those I love and that is what killed me.
six months later my wife left me... for a few reasons but me not joining the military set those events in motion
and a part of me died. The moral of the story is you can't save anything. Sometimes the choice is between two unimaginably cruel realities. In one I'd still have her, just not my own self respect or a good portion of my personality. In the other, well, I'm living that, she divorce me and married a military man...... that's why I want to die, because I should have died spiritually and joined the air force..... done what she wanted and not been as alone. Sadly you only have one shot at these decisions, and you'll never know which was right. All I can tell you is I think both were wrong.

dream log

I had a dream about my ex wife.
So in the dream we were going through the breakup.
And I was like Ted from how I met your mother when he looks stupid.
and everyone thought I looked stupid
it was like the how I met your mother episode where Barney and Robin break up, in that Lindsay turned into the most distasteful person I could imagine. She turned into this fat troll who had nothing nice to say to me. In my dream she wouldn't even say "I love you" anymore, instead she would say "I love america"
And our friends (who were played by Marshall and Lily from HIMYM) showed up to try and help us save the marriage. Then Lily asked if I was ok or not, I think I was crying but said I was ok, gave me a long lecture about how I deserved what I had coming because I had withdrawn from them.

I also remember having a dream about trying to make things better with Thomas and Lisa (my ex roommates) and every time I did they would break anything i had around. So I just started hitting Thomas and trying to beat a lesson into him (this isn't something that would ever happen in real life, just wishful thinking I guess), then after that had happened a few times he started hitting me back and we killed eachother by tossing eachother into a giant spinning blade that looked like a fan.

Obviously my subconscious doesn't like me right now.