Day 5: how do you see yourself in 5 years?
Five years seems awfully ambitious considering my current track record. In five years I will be 32 years old. I suspect that if my stress level continues at it's current pace I might actually look my age at that point. That is considering that at 18 I looked 14, at 22 I looked 18, at 24 I looked 21, and I presently look about 24-25 and my actual age is 27.
In regards to recovery though I see myself improved. I see myself wiser, I think 5 more years of reading and analysis will augment my intelligence as well. Hopefully I will be more centered, even more unflappable. I would like very much to be able to keep a cool head regardless of what is going on. I doubt at that point I will have shaken the drugs... That's more of a goal by the time I turn 40 or 50. I hope I'm still with Samantha... things look like I probably will be. Working on that assumption I'm hoping to either have had our first child or be working on it. I have no clue what my career will be like after that long. I couldn't have seen where I am now 5 years ago. Actually if I was asked 5 years ago where I would be at this point my answer would have been either dead or in a better place(though a better place would have described either option).
Frankly I'm not entirely sure I won't be dead in 5 years. I live for today. My religious grounding says not to worry about tomorrow, today is enough. I still likely have 18000 days left in this life sentence, in 5 years I will still have over 15000 days left. It's a very Robinson Caruso thing, being trapped in this body, in this reality for the long haul. I'm making the best of it. That being said, I'm not a fan.
PS: this has been in reserve a few days... long story. I'm going to try and compose on 6 tonight, we'll see
Five years seems awfully ambitious considering my current track record. In five years I will be 32 years old. I suspect that if my stress level continues at it's current pace I might actually look my age at that point. That is considering that at 18 I looked 14, at 22 I looked 18, at 24 I looked 21, and I presently look about 24-25 and my actual age is 27.
In regards to recovery though I see myself improved. I see myself wiser, I think 5 more years of reading and analysis will augment my intelligence as well. Hopefully I will be more centered, even more unflappable. I would like very much to be able to keep a cool head regardless of what is going on. I doubt at that point I will have shaken the drugs... That's more of a goal by the time I turn 40 or 50. I hope I'm still with Samantha... things look like I probably will be. Working on that assumption I'm hoping to either have had our first child or be working on it. I have no clue what my career will be like after that long. I couldn't have seen where I am now 5 years ago. Actually if I was asked 5 years ago where I would be at this point my answer would have been either dead or in a better place(though a better place would have described either option).
Frankly I'm not entirely sure I won't be dead in 5 years. I live for today. My religious grounding says not to worry about tomorrow, today is enough. I still likely have 18000 days left in this life sentence, in 5 years I will still have over 15000 days left. It's a very Robinson Caruso thing, being trapped in this body, in this reality for the long haul. I'm making the best of it. That being said, I'm not a fan.
PS: this has been in reserve a few days... long story. I'm going to try and compose on 6 tonight, we'll see
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