What is spirituality to me?

I have been reading a number of articles and having some highly stimulating conversations on this lately. I realize first of all that my motivations for spirituality are much different than anyone else I know. Let me start off with the reasons that don't work to make me go to church. We'll play a game of complete the sentence.

Church is NOT...

a political rally

a social event

a pick-me up

a chance for me to get what I want

a vending machine

a chance to convince others of my point of view

or anything resembling the above.

I'm not in it for the money, the friends, the fame or personal ego stroking. I have had ALL of those things exclusive of church. Note I won't say exclusive of God because all good things come from him. Furthermore I'm not in it to find a nice girl. As I said church isn't a social event.

So what is it? On the large perspective I'm unsure. I understand it's where God has currently led my spiritual life. I don't know why. Isn't that glorious? God does shit and I don't have a clue where he gets these ideas. I do know that me being able to stand church is a sign of his work in my life. I do NEED to draw close to him. The book does emphasize the importance of group worship and prayer, and sometimes I'm enabled that way at church. My personal spiritual walk hasn't really built much strength in group finding of God. Perhaps it's just me. I haven't been able to rely on a christian body of believers.... ever!

The problem, to put it politically, is the difference between liberal and conservative Christian groups. Now in my city the liberal groups fall into the tolerance crowd. This is so watered down and not challenging I can't accept it. I firmly believe that we need the person of Jesus to get to God. Some of the liberal congregations (universalists especially) want to say that all ways lead to God. I'm willing to listen to it philosophically, but it's destructive to my soul to say that how I find God is just one "choice". First of all Christ chose us. Second he said he was the only way to God, and if you didn't accept that as true you cast him as insane. So don't come with your new age philosophy trying to undermine the core teachings of the religion. It doesn't work that way.

Now, for what is wrong with conservative Christians. It can all be summed up in one word: Judgement. Conservative Christians are judgmental, exclusionary and sometimes downright hateful, especially to people who are liberal. I have never understood this. Because holding to the teachings of Christ means to take care of the poor, yet that is EXACTLY what conservative philosophy says is wrong with liberals. I know what they say about us. I'm not going into my rant on that. The point is they don't accept liberals. So the choice is to be a very quiet liberal in a conservative church or not have a church. I've lived both lifestyles. The reason I continue to follow God is because even though others do it poorly that is no reason I shouldn't chase God with all my effort I can give it.

When it really comes down to it spirituality to me is freedom. Freedom to love someone who loves me back. Freedom and blessings that go beyond this world are to be achieved and received as often as I can find them. I find the truth and the glory of a spiritual walk with God to be the most important thing in my life. I wouldn't have it any other way.

http://www.homospirituality.com/2013/09/30/the-de-churched-how-to-talk-to-us/