I told God last night I'd write some about the transformation he's been working on with me, but I passed out because I drugged myself to do that.
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/6ig-RShZ6m4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Nothing is certain, aside from God's love. Finally I just reached the point where I said "what you want God, not what I want". Yes, I've been saying this for YEARS but not with the force I have behind it right now. There's so much lip service in christian life. You can say ALL the right things, OVER AND OVER, but until you mean them you might as well be saying gibberish.
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/bd2qsC-PuJQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Yes, christianity, where speaking real gibberish totally works (would link to speaking in tongues vid for comedy moment, but let's keep focus) but saying the right things with the wrong heart doesn't. I've been saying he is first but he had to completely take me apart for me to see I wasn't. You know the whole thing, pray for wisdom and he'll answer that? Well he finally did about why the marriage fell apart. I knew the whole time that nothing I did was behind it. I could TELL it was supernatural, because how can you rip apart two stubborn people who have set in their heart to care for each other? God can. He can harden one's hearts, play their weaknesses and humble the mighty. He can withhold his blessing and he can lay down his wrath on those that put anything before him.
So he finally shows that I loved her more than I loved him. I thought that SOMEHOW a human could be my all when I now know that he's the only one that can.
For years I've had an idol that loving or being loved by a woman could be enough. It never has been, which has been fuel for my vices. Pop culture, pop music, even literature wants you to believe that find the right person and everything is fine. It doesn't work that way. Be the right person. You have to GROW UP and be the man (or woman) you need to be. Be your needs. You need compassion? Learn to ask God and rely on only what he can give you. The time will come that's all that's left. He'll let you lean on someone until you are ready to ask for strength, then he'll rip out EVERY crutch. Leave only one, lean on the lord. God is a jealous God and he doesn't like competition.
So now I realize that it doesn't really matter. None of it. Nothing matters but that I obey him. He asks the impossible, then somehow I give it. He asks me to lay aside my pride and humble myself. Nothing more humbling than realizing that I may very well die alone having none of my dreams, and that's OK, if God has been with me I'll have his joy. Honestly, I've been laid low and lifted up, and either way he's been right there saying "you know who is the author of your pain and your joy?" he is, he is. Pain has it's purpose, and when no one can hurt you because your heart has taken so much it is blessing. When no one else can make you feel joy because God has all the answers you need, I'll call that blessing too.
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/0ud-pdJh8S8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Now you're really giving everything, now you're really getting all you gave, now you're really living what this lifestyle's all about.
First time I heard this song I cried sweet juicy tears. Loving someone that you're never gonna get to touch, man doesn't that sum up my life? Dreams, dreams, make the vain man I am so real.
Not going to post the link to the song, but You're so Vain by Carly Simon. The lyric says "I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee." That says so much about what vanity is. It's realizing self comes before many things. Dreams of others, dreams you have, they all seem pretty stupid compared to keeping you happy. Same goes for following God. Every little thing looks so small when you put it next to him. So today my prayer is so simple.
God help me follow your will today. Help me accept it, regardless of whether it be blessings or humbling at your hands I shall call it good. Amen.
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/6ig-RShZ6m4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Nothing is certain, aside from God's love. Finally I just reached the point where I said "what you want God, not what I want". Yes, I've been saying this for YEARS but not with the force I have behind it right now. There's so much lip service in christian life. You can say ALL the right things, OVER AND OVER, but until you mean them you might as well be saying gibberish.
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/bd2qsC-PuJQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Yes, christianity, where speaking real gibberish totally works (would link to speaking in tongues vid for comedy moment, but let's keep focus) but saying the right things with the wrong heart doesn't. I've been saying he is first but he had to completely take me apart for me to see I wasn't. You know the whole thing, pray for wisdom and he'll answer that? Well he finally did about why the marriage fell apart. I knew the whole time that nothing I did was behind it. I could TELL it was supernatural, because how can you rip apart two stubborn people who have set in their heart to care for each other? God can. He can harden one's hearts, play their weaknesses and humble the mighty. He can withhold his blessing and he can lay down his wrath on those that put anything before him.
So he finally shows that I loved her more than I loved him. I thought that SOMEHOW a human could be my all when I now know that he's the only one that can.
For years I've had an idol that loving or being loved by a woman could be enough. It never has been, which has been fuel for my vices. Pop culture, pop music, even literature wants you to believe that find the right person and everything is fine. It doesn't work that way. Be the right person. You have to GROW UP and be the man (or woman) you need to be. Be your needs. You need compassion? Learn to ask God and rely on only what he can give you. The time will come that's all that's left. He'll let you lean on someone until you are ready to ask for strength, then he'll rip out EVERY crutch. Leave only one, lean on the lord. God is a jealous God and he doesn't like competition.
So now I realize that it doesn't really matter. None of it. Nothing matters but that I obey him. He asks the impossible, then somehow I give it. He asks me to lay aside my pride and humble myself. Nothing more humbling than realizing that I may very well die alone having none of my dreams, and that's OK, if God has been with me I'll have his joy. Honestly, I've been laid low and lifted up, and either way he's been right there saying "you know who is the author of your pain and your joy?" he is, he is. Pain has it's purpose, and when no one can hurt you because your heart has taken so much it is blessing. When no one else can make you feel joy because God has all the answers you need, I'll call that blessing too.
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/0ud-pdJh8S8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Now you're really giving everything, now you're really getting all you gave, now you're really living what this lifestyle's all about.
First time I heard this song I cried sweet juicy tears. Loving someone that you're never gonna get to touch, man doesn't that sum up my life? Dreams, dreams, make the vain man I am so real.
Not going to post the link to the song, but You're so Vain by Carly Simon. The lyric says "I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee." That says so much about what vanity is. It's realizing self comes before many things. Dreams of others, dreams you have, they all seem pretty stupid compared to keeping you happy. Same goes for following God. Every little thing looks so small when you put it next to him. So today my prayer is so simple.
God help me follow your will today. Help me accept it, regardless of whether it be blessings or humbling at your hands I shall call it good. Amen.
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