So, I was digging deeply into my subconscious as I often do while alone and I found this song.
It interests me more that I had buried this under piles of memories. Has it been sitting there for years and in subtle ways changed decisions I made? Perhaps.
Hold on------
From the beginning of writing time:
I just saw a commercial for Christian Mingle: the man said, "I believe God can use any tool to bring the woman I'm supposed to be with."
Can I ever understate the heavy handed message this is. This is part of how the rich Christians who run the country (perhaps defacto if not so clearly) control of the poor Christians who believe them. Christianity as a rule system and organization is often depicted as a rational for keeping power in the hands of those who have it. Christian mingle isn't helping. For one thing the whole concept of a woman I am supposed to be with is morally repellent to me. So far my score for women I have loved being me vs marrying other men (often carrying their children) is at least 5 for married and 1 for me. If I were to chart my hormonal and romantic excitement disturbingly the ones that were worst for me were far more exciting.
So that's the first problem I have.
The second is that God is going to use fucking Christian Mingle to bring me a woman........ God has about as much interest in providing me women as he does providing me beer and smokes. He likes to keep me happy by allowing such wonderful things to exist, but for various reasons I doubt he personally makes these things exist. The actual objective benefits of the vices of sex, smoking and drinking are not completely accepted in the psychological community. For various reasons most experiments on these things end up being highly biased. No, I don't have sources, screw that I'm on vacation.
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