selfless path to destruction

You know how much pride I have. So I suppose it comes as no shock to find that I can't stand self sacrifice.
It's not sacrifice on my part that drives me nuts, that I can live with. I'm watching what dreams may come.
It opens beautifully.... two people fall in love... what a dream that is.
Then a perfect family breakfast, before the first loss hits your gut as the main character's children are taken away. Surely there is no better proof that there is no justice than the meaningless death of a child. If it was a genetic or disease problem I could stand it, these are the penalties we pay for our flesh. But these are taken in a car wreck. A hard opening but the movie takes it in stride.
Then... four years later the husband dies.
This is his death, and it makes me so angry at him.
He's driving across town when a huge wreck happens in front of him. He successfully stops the car, only to GET OUT while the wreck is still happening. This is obviously a choice he makes to check if the other people are ok. It's a selfless act... I should be able to forgive that. I can't. Because he leaves his wife alone. His selfless act for a stranger hurts the one he loves most.
I had an argument about this, if you had the choice who's life would you save? Yours or a stranger? The answer most people give is to save the stranger. That, according to society, is the right answer. Again it strikes me how wrong me trying to fit society is. Because even though I would probably die for the simple reason if it made God smile, taking away a loved one is wrong, especially from those you love. Well so I've been taught... that's the only reason I'm not dead anyway.
I dreamed my dog died last night. The other dog broke her back. I tried to save her.... but I couldn't. Her cries of pain, the wound itself hurt me. I can't stand to see pain in those I love. Maybe she's all that is keeping me going anymore. I woke up in the middle of the night just so I could go out and hold her and know she was ok.

If I had a wife, and she loved me I would never let myself die if I had a choice. I suppose I'm being convicted... as God loves me but I would gladly take myself out of his world. Same for my parents.
I don't understand why someone would sacrifice their life for a stranger... yet Jesus did supposedly. No I'm not preaching. I'm confused. Because it was bad logic. Though I suppose he knew a bit more about what comes after... he could still do things after.... If I had that kind of power I wouldn't die.