Dear God,
Please forgive my anger, my doubt and frustration. Please forgive me for not loving you or my neighbor as I should.
This is not an excuse for my behavior, I know that accountability wise that despite my circumstances I still shouldn't have fallen short. The thing is that I'm human. I'm prone to fall short of your glory from time to time. If that wasn't the case you wouldn't have sent your son to die for me. What defies my understanding is how you in your perfection can say that you love me.
I don't mean from a point of that you are proud of me, I know you are that. I don't mean from a point that me seeking you makes your heart glad, I know that as well. I mean to direct your attention towards your actions. First of all there is the lack of solidarity between you and I. I have certain desires, and it seems that you have conflicting desires. I desire to be out of pain.
I find myself in frequent confusion over your so called promises. The problem as I see it is that a promise indicates a contractual arrangement. I am but human and I beg you to correct my foolishness and ignorance. You are so great it really does confuse me why you do what you do (or don't do). I have sought you, yet I am still waiting to find your favor. I have asked, yet I wait to receive. I have knocked and the door has yet to open. It's greatly confusing that things are getting harder when I have been begging for relief.
If you are looking to humble me that mission is done. I feel totally worthless in my situation. Show me what worth I have to you, if any! Why do you force me to go on living when I see nothing worth doing? Why am I forced to live in agony when you are a good God, and the source of all good things? How long must I cry out before you hear me? How much must I endure? Did you not say you have a plan for me, a plan for hope and a future? Did you not send Christ so that I might have life and have it abundantly? Where is this abundance? Didn't you come to free the enslaved, break the chains and take care of your children? As you said if we can give our children good gifts, how much better will you? Didn't you say "if your child asks you for bread will you give him a stone?" Why are my pleas for relief repaid with more agony?
Where are these good gifts? Where is freedom? Where are you? Have you forgotten me? Do I matter at all to you? I sought significance and purpose from you and I have found despair. Are you still coming? How much longer? What if I can't wait that long? Does my pain matter to you? Didn't you send Christ that you might understand our suffering? Why then do you not offer comfort or relief? I ask you again what do you want from me? Am I doing something wrong? If I have sinned against you or my fellow men please offer me forgiveness and mercy. How can we be free from sin when we have no freedom? This oppressive environment is suffocating me. I feel like I'm drowning slowly. I know that you can do so much more than I ask, so I beg you to at least do something.
I bring my pain as my offering today, such as it is. I beg you to set me free. Please Lord let today be the day this agonizing trial ends. Let me go or let me come home to you, I don't care which. I just beg you to release me. I now come to say something very hard to say for me. I admit my relative powerlessness without your help. I admit that all the good I have had in my life was due to your love and gifts. I know I'm not deserving. I may have limited power in my situation but even that comes from you. Please, above all if you answer no other request please give me some power over my situation. Please save me from worry, fear and anxiety. Lord you can save me, you can heal us and deliver us. You are great and your power is absolute. Your glory endures and you repay faith with love and favor. I don't know what else to do but hold on to that. Please let that be enough and see me not for what I have done, but by the saving grace that Christ died for. Remember the value I had to you that you loved me so much that you gave your own son. How else can you manifest that love? Are you not the same today as you were yesterday and you will still be forever?
Please, give me what I need for today. Cast your favor on me.
Love your son,
Max
in the name of Christ who is capable of doing all and more than we ask.
Please forgive my anger, my doubt and frustration. Please forgive me for not loving you or my neighbor as I should.
This is not an excuse for my behavior, I know that accountability wise that despite my circumstances I still shouldn't have fallen short. The thing is that I'm human. I'm prone to fall short of your glory from time to time. If that wasn't the case you wouldn't have sent your son to die for me. What defies my understanding is how you in your perfection can say that you love me.
I don't mean from a point of that you are proud of me, I know you are that. I don't mean from a point that me seeking you makes your heart glad, I know that as well. I mean to direct your attention towards your actions. First of all there is the lack of solidarity between you and I. I have certain desires, and it seems that you have conflicting desires. I desire to be out of pain.
I find myself in frequent confusion over your so called promises. The problem as I see it is that a promise indicates a contractual arrangement. I am but human and I beg you to correct my foolishness and ignorance. You are so great it really does confuse me why you do what you do (or don't do). I have sought you, yet I am still waiting to find your favor. I have asked, yet I wait to receive. I have knocked and the door has yet to open. It's greatly confusing that things are getting harder when I have been begging for relief.
If you are looking to humble me that mission is done. I feel totally worthless in my situation. Show me what worth I have to you, if any! Why do you force me to go on living when I see nothing worth doing? Why am I forced to live in agony when you are a good God, and the source of all good things? How long must I cry out before you hear me? How much must I endure? Did you not say you have a plan for me, a plan for hope and a future? Did you not send Christ so that I might have life and have it abundantly? Where is this abundance? Didn't you come to free the enslaved, break the chains and take care of your children? As you said if we can give our children good gifts, how much better will you? Didn't you say "if your child asks you for bread will you give him a stone?" Why are my pleas for relief repaid with more agony?
Where are these good gifts? Where is freedom? Where are you? Have you forgotten me? Do I matter at all to you? I sought significance and purpose from you and I have found despair. Are you still coming? How much longer? What if I can't wait that long? Does my pain matter to you? Didn't you send Christ that you might understand our suffering? Why then do you not offer comfort or relief? I ask you again what do you want from me? Am I doing something wrong? If I have sinned against you or my fellow men please offer me forgiveness and mercy. How can we be free from sin when we have no freedom? This oppressive environment is suffocating me. I feel like I'm drowning slowly. I know that you can do so much more than I ask, so I beg you to at least do something.
I bring my pain as my offering today, such as it is. I beg you to set me free. Please Lord let today be the day this agonizing trial ends. Let me go or let me come home to you, I don't care which. I just beg you to release me. I now come to say something very hard to say for me. I admit my relative powerlessness without your help. I admit that all the good I have had in my life was due to your love and gifts. I know I'm not deserving. I may have limited power in my situation but even that comes from you. Please, above all if you answer no other request please give me some power over my situation. Please save me from worry, fear and anxiety. Lord you can save me, you can heal us and deliver us. You are great and your power is absolute. Your glory endures and you repay faith with love and favor. I don't know what else to do but hold on to that. Please let that be enough and see me not for what I have done, but by the saving grace that Christ died for. Remember the value I had to you that you loved me so much that you gave your own son. How else can you manifest that love? Are you not the same today as you were yesterday and you will still be forever?
Please, give me what I need for today. Cast your favor on me.
Love your son,
Max
in the name of Christ who is capable of doing all and more than we ask.
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