Out of the darkness I scream these truths for all with ears to hear.

I will not give up
I will choose doubt over hope
though I doubt yet my faith will strengthen
I will not listen to people who complain about the impossible,
Who ever profited by looking at what can't be done?
I concern myself with what can be done.
I trust with all my heart in the only one who can save me, and the only one who will
I will love my fellow man, even when it's hard
I choose life, I choose to fight back against fear, and foolish behavior
I seek wisdom, I seek peace, and I seek purpose
Above all else I seek God, because who other than him could give me those three things?
I may wrestle with him, I may have my bad days, but he is faithful, and he does love me. His love is so great he sticks around even when I hurt him. He loves me despite the fact that sometimes watching my struggles must be painful to him. Yet though these things cause him pain he sees the wide view. He knows the purpose for these tests. He knows what I need to learn and because I have asked him I will receive it (or have) and will move on.
I choose thankfulness. I'm thankful for my family and friends. They are reliable and caring when the whole world seems against me. I am thankful for what small comforts I can find in this place. I'm grateful for this peace that consumes me right now. I'm grateful for the fact that joy comes in the morning. I'm so amazingly thankful that this season WILL come to a complete end. I am so very thankful that his timing will be perfect. I believe good days are right around the corner. I believe a better life is something I can reach for. So long as I can dream, so long as I can love, and so long as I can think I am riding this roller coaster of life for every thrill and amazing thing it has.
I am more secure in who I am and what I am today than I have been in my entire life. Though I may present as a mess, I'm a beautiful mess to me, and to God. He doesn't count the hurts, he counts the blessings, and he counts the times I have said yes to him. The times I have managed to be faithful. As for my problems, he will remove those he has planned to remove, and he will use the rest to remind me to love others. I didn't know what it was like to love with such reckless abandon until I reached a point that love was the greatest gift I had.
This is where I am, this is where I have been, and this is where I'm going. I'm not done yet, oh no! My best days are right in front of me. I will find joy in the midst of pain, and purpose in the midst of disaster. These things must sound so silly to those that haven't seen. Well don't just take my word for it, ask him to redeem your life, to make your scars speak of fighting for right.
Goodnight beautiful people, I hope I can bless some of you tomorrow!