So I was writing for tumblr (http://cynicalviking.tumblr.com/)
Then I realized that for the past.... I don't know... two or three years, I've been trying to prepare for another death.
This pretty much sums up the Max approach to pain: Ow, that hurt. How can I make sure it never hurts again, and if it does I'm prepped.
Blame the Boy Scout in me, because when I see something terrible I start working on insulating myself from it. Divorce and depression are amazingly hard to insulate against. When I was 22 (2010) I sunk into a deep depression funk over my divorce. For a year and a half I slept, jerked off, and did drugs. Essentially I was dead for almost two years, and it was a wonderful escape from the world. I saw what I really needed to survive having my very existence removed. I learned that things don't last.
The best metaphor I have is if you got into a car wreck, but instead of the airbag saving you the entire car was sucked into another universe and your body hits the freeway at 75 miles an hour. Then you crawl into a cave, occasionally crawling out to eat berries like a wild raccoon. That's what divorce is like for me.
So I don't know what other bad shit is out there, because I could not understand what happened to me before it happened, but the cave and berries saved me. So I'm looking for a cave that will last and to plant some berry bushes. Until I manage that, I can't really build anything.
Then I realized that for the past.... I don't know... two or three years, I've been trying to prepare for another death.
This pretty much sums up the Max approach to pain: Ow, that hurt. How can I make sure it never hurts again, and if it does I'm prepped.
Blame the Boy Scout in me, because when I see something terrible I start working on insulating myself from it. Divorce and depression are amazingly hard to insulate against. When I was 22 (2010) I sunk into a deep depression funk over my divorce. For a year and a half I slept, jerked off, and did drugs. Essentially I was dead for almost two years, and it was a wonderful escape from the world. I saw what I really needed to survive having my very existence removed. I learned that things don't last.
The best metaphor I have is if you got into a car wreck, but instead of the airbag saving you the entire car was sucked into another universe and your body hits the freeway at 75 miles an hour. Then you crawl into a cave, occasionally crawling out to eat berries like a wild raccoon. That's what divorce is like for me.
So I don't know what other bad shit is out there, because I could not understand what happened to me before it happened, but the cave and berries saved me. So I'm looking for a cave that will last and to plant some berry bushes. Until I manage that, I can't really build anything.
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