for a reason

This is an important part of my testimony. Years go by, often we do not know why God doesn't answer certain prayers. It's the sort of thing that makes a faith walk such a challenge. It usually seems like he doesn't care when we think we know what's best. But, sometimes you have to thank him for the prayer's unanswered. Today I want to share that I sincerely thought I knew the right thing for my life, and I could not have been more wrong. If my prayers had been answered 3 and a half years ago...... life would be much worse today. It's pretty likely I would not have been able to handle it then, I know that today if given all I wanted back then.
What's important here is that when we put our lives in his will, we're never really lost. We can lose our way, fumble around in the dark, and at times almost lose hope, but he never gives up on us. He brings all things together for our good. He doesn't make mistakes, and we are where we are for a reason, even if it makes no sense to us.

I don't want to be here right now, but one thing I know. I know that I'm in good company.
-----------

Now for the behind the belt of stuff I really can't handle posting on facebook.
My ex wife is pregnant, due in 20 days. That's some heavy stuff, what with me missing out on having kids with her. I realize now if we had ever pulled out of our financial nosedive kids probably would have been shortly on the horizon. It's hard sometimes to be thankful in the storm, but today God has given me something to be VERY thankful for. I don't think I could have handled it. Let me modify this. One, I could not at the level of maturity I was at 22 or 23 handled putting her and the child first. Two, at my current maturity level I don't know if I could handle it. I mean, I think no matter what God will give me the strength and wisdom to handle whatever goes down, but he really saved me in this one. Three, the BIGGEST reason I could not handle that, her. Now I could get super negative about her, we all know what she did (read some old post to get educated if you missed out). However, this isn't about her relational failings towards me. It's about my lack of confidence in her parenting abilities. She was the least nurturing woman I ever met. Here's another thing, I saw pictures of her pregnant and I was thinking "woah, God bless that man that he can handle that."

Seriously, God really saved the day on this one, because having kids makes everything harder, and I doubt the marriage would have survived. And if it bombed, I would be stuck with child support (or with a child) and alimony, and I don't have money AS IS. And she would still have remarried some other schmuck. God bless the broken road (yes, I can't believe I'm referencing a country song either.)
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/NYodFrBf0BE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

That is a good word, of course you should know I mean it in no way romantically. I don't subscribe to the delusion that a person can be everything I need. God is. His love is perfect. He showed me today how much he loved me, what he saved me from. I'm sitting here today in my nice clothes, getting to focus my energy on being the best me I can be. And it only get's better. When he delivers on his promises, there will be no question that everything that has happened has been to protect me, to prosper me, and to give me a future. I love him more than words can express. And you want to know the best part? He still loves me more.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/bJ2OMoFuHQQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>