I find doing something out of faith an incredibly deep and personal process. It can change so much about my personal walk, just moving, doing something to worship him.
I do think I'm strange. I'm odd because I don't get as excited about God when I'm talking about him in church. That's the part that drives me NUTS. Because we sit around two hours a week and TALK, and WORSHIP, but nothing comes of it, apart from obedience which I understand the value. It is also of value to keep the sabbath holy, and so I do. But days like today, ordinary working days where God and I meet and talk, those are the days that mean everything to me. Today just cleaning my house is a worship. I'm thanking God for all he has given me, and it is alot. I'm doing something that feels alien and unnatural to my flesh, in my darkest days I am preparing for my brightest. Why am I cleaning my house?
The spirit urges me to. Many days the spirit urges me to go the gym, and I often meet God there when I let go of my stress and my pain and perform my best. But I have been not at peace for some time about this house. I feel it is a burden, yet I know it's a blessing, God just has to bring things back into perspective. *sigh*
This is hard. It's hard for me to explain how God is working on my heart while he's doing it. I feel you would really have to be here getting dirty and setting things right one by one with God and I to understand what he's doing in my heart. Perhaps it's an answer to prayer. Perhaps it's the anticipation of liberation. Like a prisoner cleaning his cell waiting for release. Not really that grave (though spiritually it is pretty dire some days), more like the Isrealites crossing the Jordon into the promise land.
I feel I can see it, I can taste it, I can feel his presence and I know that he will do what he promises. I don't know how, and I don't know what it will look like. But this is my act of worship today. More work to follow, but it's good work.
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