Have I mentioned lately how fully I came into understanding of myself?
Yet there is still a huge area for improvement. I found it by rereading my early blog posts.
In the beginning I used this blog as I should: as an analytical tool. It matters not what is read or not read. I shouldn't care a bit how many page views I get.
So, that being said, here is where I am:
Stressed but walking on water. What do I mean by that? I mean to say that I have the faith that God will do what he needs to. Right now.... I haven't a clue. In the past that has been a point of contention between God and myself. It is no longer as large a point of contention. Knowledge itself is not evil, however the wrong knowledge at the wrong time can destroy as efficiently as a lie. Whatever it is I don't know it is essential I don't know it to proceed with the correct attitude into the next stage.
I of course long for times of peace, but they lay on the other side of times of strife. Strife itself isn't evil, and this distinction also eluded me for years. Things being hard are part of the noble nature of existence. If it was easy.... how could we ever create grand schemes and astounding solutions? Astounding solutions require astounding problems.
We would never have cured Polio if there had never been a Polio. Which isn't to say the world needs Polio. It is to say that society used Polio to revitalize itself. Same thing in every great war a country has ever fought.
The tiring thing is doing this all without anger. When I do feel anger it is at evil, not people. I hate the fear that has prevented our country from moving on. I hate the complacency that led previous generations to slack in their duty of teaching the next. I hate being one man, with one mouth and only two hands.
Yet of all these obstacles and frustrations the Lord is aware. I cannot say how he will answer. However in this I am sure: He will answer.
My mouth will go dry lifting my joys and sorrows to him before he abandons me, and even then he will walk with me. My limbs can lock, my muscles cramp and I may suffer all manner of challenges, yet he dwells in me. He dwells in the truth and wisdom I know, not just in my brain but in my very muscles.
Today we must thank him. Every day, I have to thank him. Not because he needs validation and not because of magical thinking. I must thank him for myself, for my eyes to see the beauty he has put in this world. I must thank him for this challenge. How awesome is it that he thinks me up to this resistance?
God does give you more than you can handle. He does it every day if you let him. He does it because he wants us to deal with things using his strength. Sometimes he needs us weak so that we can lay back on his strength. He is so very strong. I am so very hard to kill.
Yet there is still a huge area for improvement. I found it by rereading my early blog posts.
In the beginning I used this blog as I should: as an analytical tool. It matters not what is read or not read. I shouldn't care a bit how many page views I get.
So, that being said, here is where I am:
Stressed but walking on water. What do I mean by that? I mean to say that I have the faith that God will do what he needs to. Right now.... I haven't a clue. In the past that has been a point of contention between God and myself. It is no longer as large a point of contention. Knowledge itself is not evil, however the wrong knowledge at the wrong time can destroy as efficiently as a lie. Whatever it is I don't know it is essential I don't know it to proceed with the correct attitude into the next stage.
I of course long for times of peace, but they lay on the other side of times of strife. Strife itself isn't evil, and this distinction also eluded me for years. Things being hard are part of the noble nature of existence. If it was easy.... how could we ever create grand schemes and astounding solutions? Astounding solutions require astounding problems.
We would never have cured Polio if there had never been a Polio. Which isn't to say the world needs Polio. It is to say that society used Polio to revitalize itself. Same thing in every great war a country has ever fought.
The tiring thing is doing this all without anger. When I do feel anger it is at evil, not people. I hate the fear that has prevented our country from moving on. I hate the complacency that led previous generations to slack in their duty of teaching the next. I hate being one man, with one mouth and only two hands.
Yet of all these obstacles and frustrations the Lord is aware. I cannot say how he will answer. However in this I am sure: He will answer.
My mouth will go dry lifting my joys and sorrows to him before he abandons me, and even then he will walk with me. My limbs can lock, my muscles cramp and I may suffer all manner of challenges, yet he dwells in me. He dwells in the truth and wisdom I know, not just in my brain but in my very muscles.
Today we must thank him. Every day, I have to thank him. Not because he needs validation and not because of magical thinking. I must thank him for myself, for my eyes to see the beauty he has put in this world. I must thank him for this challenge. How awesome is it that he thinks me up to this resistance?
God does give you more than you can handle. He does it every day if you let him. He does it because he wants us to deal with things using his strength. Sometimes he needs us weak so that we can lay back on his strength. He is so very strong. I am so very hard to kill.
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