Alright, first it's taking me a moment to update to this interface, it's a newer one on me. I know I haven't updated in awhile, and we've all missed out on accurate recording of my inner thoughts. Oh well. Life goes on.
I've been involved in a romantic relationship........ you know how that goes. Well, you probably don't. Considering that this relationship doesn't really fit with any sort of standard for romance........ I doubt you do. I guess in some time some place romance was like this. But considering the weird way it is I doubt it was recorded. Whomever experienced it probably decided it was too complicated to try and explain and just moved on. I guess that's the main reason I'm upset, because of this situation. Again, it's hard to describe everything going on, partially because I don't know myself. At the moment I'm between a rock and a hard place, no matter which way I move I see no positive outlook. Which of course activates my fight or flight defence, if I can't win the fight shouldn't I just get away and repair when I do? So says my flesh, but I guess my heart just makes everything more complicated.
"I met someone at the dog show
she was holding my left arm
but everyone was acting normal so I tried to look nonchalant
we both said I really love you
the shriners loaned us cars
we raced up and down the sidewalk twenty thousand billion times
why did they send her? over anyone else?
How should I react?
these things happen
to other people
they don't happen at all, in fact
when you're following an angel
does it mean you have to throw your body off a building
somebody leaning on a pinhead, calling you an angel
calling you the nicest thing
I heard they have a space program
when they sing you can't hear
there's no air"
it's something different meeting a woman and God having a hand in it.
Now when I have a hand in it, and it all goes to hell that's one thing, I'm quite flawed and I can perfect my technique. However, when things aren't going.... to plan lets say, and it's God's special handiwork, that's an entirely different story. The reason being that I can do everything right, and I believe I do, at least within normal human parameters, and the result can still be an utterly confusing mess of a car wreck and I can see it going that way, like a car heading towards a cliff. And I ask God: "Are you going to stop it? is the car going to fly? Do I need to stop it? Something must be done Lord, and is this all my fault?"
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