How can you fake that which cannot have it's veracity verified?!

I'm a weird little philosophic machine. The atypical bit is my particular journey down this path. It is part of the difficulty that in starting to think about my issues with originality I address part of my approach that is atypical.

I like the word atypical (and let's talk about why): Last semester in statistics I learned quite a large amount about sampling and modeling. Statistics is wonderful in that it only gives data about a given sample and how that sample behaves. Since I am in the social sciences our samples are usually of people.

Normal Distribution Curve

This is the perfect normal curve, like we use in testing. In this model you'd want the vast majority of people to appear within one standard deviation from the mean, which is -1o to 0 and 0 to 1o. That represents 64.2 percent of the sample. Within IQ for example this represents scores between 85 and 115. 130 and 70 are the second set of standard deviations and where most assessments lose accuracy, and anything over 160 or under 40 is not measurable. 

Anyway when I'm thinking about myself and how well  I follow patterns, it is usually in my inverse relationship to social pressure. My peers and local authorities tell me to make a decision and I immediately doubt the quality of that decision. If I see something working and don't feel pressure then I'm likely to accept it as an effective solution.

Example:

No one needs to sell the concept of eating cheese. It is high protein, easily digested and high in sugar. It makes bland food taste good. People will add cheese to things to sell those other things, but no one needs to sell me on cheese.

Yet every ad wants to sell me on being anti tobacco, buying new cars, or changing insurance agencies. These things have little practical effect on my life, which means that there must be some back end benefit for those doing the selling.

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The strangest thing is that thinking that one is unique or original is just as faulty an assumption as assuming that what others do will work for me. It is a common reasoning error. The reason it is an error is that if many people think "I am the only one thinking this" then it isolates them, and it isn't true. I'm using truth in the Boolean logic sense, so don't get excited about the philosophy of truth, enlightenment and whether we can really know anything.

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But I am alone. I am fundamentally alone, singular and isolated. I am not cut off entirely though. I'm not suffering from social anxiety, and I empathize with others very well. Others don't empathize well with me. *sigh*

I'm very tired right now. This is one of my largest issues: I work myself so hard that I can hardly function anymore, and I like it. It would be nice if I could just write a contemplative on my place within the human race and my relative commonness and the value of that, but it just isn't in me.

Why:

I want it, and it would satisfy me. Being satisfied is a horrible thing for a tired man, because it might let him rest. Note I say rest and not sleep, because I sleep (not as many hours as I would like but that's neither here nor there. Seeing a doctor tomorrow about that issue.)

Some battles aren't worth fighting. The journey into self is one of them tonight.