I read something lately, and during one of my dark moments it really struck home. It said that the greatest worship we can bring during tests is to endure them with silence and humility. I've been trying to do that. So just because I'm silent don't assume my prayers are answered, I just realize that cursing the pain isn't submitting to him. Yes, it hurts. Yes I'll even admit I feel it's unfair, unjust, and more than is reasonable.
I serve a mighty and superb God though. The attacks are huge, but he's greater still.
This month I lost smoking, I suspect forever. After a year long fast I tried to enjoy a cigar. I didn't like it. The taste for it is gone. I don't know if I can explain what it's like to lose something you loved to do, just because your body won't go.... More a loss is a part of who I was. I liked smoking as a rugged individual, as a stance against the world. Yet I wonder if it wasn't taken from me on purpose. Now I'm not doing anything proactive to die. Maybe that means I'll live again. I think the best is ahead. I think that God's not done yet. More than that I think that God knows what he is doing, and whatever comes I trust him.
I serve a mighty and superb God though. The attacks are huge, but he's greater still.
This month I lost smoking, I suspect forever. After a year long fast I tried to enjoy a cigar. I didn't like it. The taste for it is gone. I don't know if I can explain what it's like to lose something you loved to do, just because your body won't go.... More a loss is a part of who I was. I liked smoking as a rugged individual, as a stance against the world. Yet I wonder if it wasn't taken from me on purpose. Now I'm not doing anything proactive to die. Maybe that means I'll live again. I think the best is ahead. I think that God's not done yet. More than that I think that God knows what he is doing, and whatever comes I trust him.
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