I don't want to alarm, as everything is fine. I am merely becoming aware that my thoughts are not what I represent them to myself as. This is difficult to bring to awareness. I have known for some time that I have been attempting to edit and regulate my... madness for lack of a better word. Manic moments. Which is not a sentence but nevermind.
I was under the impression I was laid back, content. That appears to be less the case than I thought it was. Which isn't to say it isn't partially true. Contentedness is not like happiness, because I can get it, and as often as I want. It is a sliding scale from not at all to completely. I'm only saying I'm not completely content. Which is only natural, life is in flux, I have to adjust. This is how I self edit. Troubling thoughts are immediately followed by comfort, rationality, and level headed feeling thoughts. I'm actually currently of the opinion that I probably am over doing it. I think if I found a productive outlet for the manic thing.... it would be better.
So it goes, so it goes.
Goodnight.
I was under the impression I was laid back, content. That appears to be less the case than I thought it was. Which isn't to say it isn't partially true. Contentedness is not like happiness, because I can get it, and as often as I want. It is a sliding scale from not at all to completely. I'm only saying I'm not completely content. Which is only natural, life is in flux, I have to adjust. This is how I self edit. Troubling thoughts are immediately followed by comfort, rationality, and level headed feeling thoughts. I'm actually currently of the opinion that I probably am over doing it. I think if I found a productive outlet for the manic thing.... it would be better.
So it goes, so it goes.
Goodnight.
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