I'm not writing because I want to. It's important to lead into this by saying that I am only doing this due to subconscious demands that I handle these issues. The last two nights I have had dreams about my ex wife. The first two (night one the only dream I had, and the dream that came first night two) was about me reconciling with her. Let me summarize that one, do the analysis then we can go on to the second one.
I can't remember specifics from the dream on night one, so last nights will have to do. I dreamed that she came back to me. She took the initiative and contacted me and it turns out her life had been falling apart. She said her marriage had fallen apart.... that sort of thing. She never said she still loved me. But I was made to break up with my girlfriend despite me not liking the idea of hurting her. In the dream however for some reason I wanted to be with her. I'm baffled that I didn't say anything about the past being the past. I seriously doubt I would remarry her if such a thing actually happened.
It's one part wish fulfillment that's easy. For a long time I have wanted her to suffer for what she did to me, that was obvious. Another thing is that I wanted my ego stroked that if something like that happened she would come back, which is not the case. She doesn't still love me. I've checked. Granted a woman's heart is full of secrets and lies but at least on the surface, there is no love there for me. Which came up in the dream. Which brings us to the darker part of this dream analysis. There are issues of ownership. She comes back into my life and essentially demands that I do what she says, and I do? It's as if we are still married, and we aren't. She has no rights in respect to me. I admit that there is some part of me that would be happy for the romantic attention from her. A part of me will always love her, even though I doubt that part will ever be called into active duty again.
the second dream has me having sex with my ex wife. This happened once after me seeing the getting back together dream for the second time I rolled over, went back to sleep and dreamed of what comes next. I wanted to dream something different, something better. Instead I dreamed about making love to the ex wife. I got her pregnant. Then we had sex again. It was so intense it upset the cat, though I have no cat. I have no idea what the cat means. Again my interpretation is that I am making my wishes come true. Another thing I think is that I did what she wanted, broke up with my girl, and as a result she rewarded me with sex.
I talked with my friends about this today, and the most helpful thing they said is that I am wishing for what I had when I had her, stability and comfort. That makes sense.
I'm redoubling my efforts on prayer, that a solution to my situation be at hand. And I am waiting on the answer. While I wait, I will keep trying and writing of my success and challenges here. Stay tuned.
I can't remember specifics from the dream on night one, so last nights will have to do. I dreamed that she came back to me. She took the initiative and contacted me and it turns out her life had been falling apart. She said her marriage had fallen apart.... that sort of thing. She never said she still loved me. But I was made to break up with my girlfriend despite me not liking the idea of hurting her. In the dream however for some reason I wanted to be with her. I'm baffled that I didn't say anything about the past being the past. I seriously doubt I would remarry her if such a thing actually happened.
It's one part wish fulfillment that's easy. For a long time I have wanted her to suffer for what she did to me, that was obvious. Another thing is that I wanted my ego stroked that if something like that happened she would come back, which is not the case. She doesn't still love me. I've checked. Granted a woman's heart is full of secrets and lies but at least on the surface, there is no love there for me. Which came up in the dream. Which brings us to the darker part of this dream analysis. There are issues of ownership. She comes back into my life and essentially demands that I do what she says, and I do? It's as if we are still married, and we aren't. She has no rights in respect to me. I admit that there is some part of me that would be happy for the romantic attention from her. A part of me will always love her, even though I doubt that part will ever be called into active duty again.
the second dream has me having sex with my ex wife. This happened once after me seeing the getting back together dream for the second time I rolled over, went back to sleep and dreamed of what comes next. I wanted to dream something different, something better. Instead I dreamed about making love to the ex wife. I got her pregnant. Then we had sex again. It was so intense it upset the cat, though I have no cat. I have no idea what the cat means. Again my interpretation is that I am making my wishes come true. Another thing I think is that I did what she wanted, broke up with my girl, and as a result she rewarded me with sex.
I talked with my friends about this today, and the most helpful thing they said is that I am wishing for what I had when I had her, stability and comfort. That makes sense.
I'm redoubling my efforts on prayer, that a solution to my situation be at hand. And I am waiting on the answer. While I wait, I will keep trying and writing of my success and challenges here. Stay tuned.
No comments:
Post a Comment